Do you have a shared bank account? That is the first question I ask a couple that has sought my counsel. It always feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. I usually see a bead of sweat drop from the husbands forehead. The answer is obvious. The discussion is righteous right from the beginning. I have heard all the excuses. “We both work for our own money”, “I pay the bills and he pays for the groceries”, or/and “Her finances were pretty screwed up before we were married so we do them separately”.
Marriage is about accountability. Trust is the foremost catalyst to a great marriage. Separate bank accounts are one step closer to divorce. Your marriage is less likely to survive operating separately. Ignorance is bliss though. Denial works best during conditions of anonymity.
What a weird concept? 50% of marriages end in divorce. Money fights are at the forefront. And yet we aren’t accountable to our spouses. You show me a great marriage and I’ll show you a shared bank account.